Ten Rules of Being a Man

 

You can call me old fashioned, but that’s how I was raised and this is what I believe. It’s very sad to see how people act in public and how they treat each other. Reading the news in the paper or watching the news on TV will confirm just how much people’s values have waned in the past 20 years. People are in desperate need of manners and character. Burning our flag and kneeling during our national anthem is a disgrace.

There is never a good reason to burn our flag or kneel during the national anthem. People have given their lives and risked their lives so that the rest of us could live in freedom. Our flag is more than a piece of fabric. It means so much to people. It unites our entire country and gives us hope and is a symbol of freedom, justice and the American way of life. We live in the greatest country in the world.

In times of extreme national crisis, our flag has been the glue that held us together as one. Watching the bloody survivors of a battle in an old movie cling to the American flag will bring tears to my eyes. I’ve never seen anything more powerful than the way people united as one and came together to help each other in the days following the horrible tragedy of September 11, 2001. It didn’t matter if you were black or white or if you were a bus driver, a doctor or a trash man. We all came together as one and looked at our flag with honor, respect and pride. We were proud to be Americans.

You may have the right to disrespect our flag and our national anthem, but that doesn’t mean it’s ok to do so. It’s wrong. Maybe if more people understood how to be a man, what respect is and how to treat others, they would have a better understanding of why it’s wrong.

Hopefully some youngster may find this list helpful if he doesn’t have a father or guardian to show him the way to becoming a man and how to treat others with respect. For additional guidance, boys should consider joining the Cub Scouts or the Boy Scouts of America. Learn and follow these rules.

  1. Treat others the way that you want to be treated. This sounds simple enough. Be polite and respectful to all you meet in the course of your day. Don’t expect people to be cordial and friendly to you if you aren’t willing to extend them the same courtesy.
  2. Work hard. Don’t quit until your job is done or until you’re too tired to go on. Any goal worth achieving is worth working hard to attain. Nothing good comes easy. Be proud of your work and your accomplishments.
  3. Be a responsible person. Take care of yourself. Don’t rely on others to take care of you and the things that you have to do. Do your homework, pay your bills, take care of your family, get a job, pay your taxes and feed and clothe your children.
  4. Always wear a jacket and tie when you go to church, a wedding or a funeral. Yes, there are exceptions. Something more appropriate may be in order for a wedding on the beach or it may be too hot to wear a jacket in church if the air conditioner is broken.
  5. Always use a title when speaking to an authority figure or an elder. This would include teachers, police officers, judges, your boss at work and doctors. Use a title when speaking with an adult if you’re under the age of 18. It’s still considered good manners to use a title if you’re over 18 and speaking to someone old enough to be a parent. Professional titles should always be used no matter what your age. Here are some examples: “Good morning Mr. Smith”, “Hello Judge Smith”, “Thank you Officer Smith”. You may drop the title if you’re an adult and you become friends with the person and you are speaking in a non-professional situation.
  6. Don’t use foul language in public or in front of women and children. First, if you do this, you are not only disrespecting yourself, but the women or children in your presence. You are also teaching children it’s ok to do this. You will be teaching boys that it’s ok to disrespect women and they will do it as they become older. You are also teaching girls that it’s ok to be treated like this and that they don’t deserve someone’s respect. When you speak this way in public you will appear uneducated to others. I personally think less of people that act this way.
  7. Shake someone’s right hand when you meet them and look them in the eyes as you’re doing it. You may use your left hand if the person has an injured right hand. The proper way to shake hands is to extend your hand when you meet someone and when they offer you their hand, grasp it firmly in yours and give a moderate squeeze. Don’t squeeze it too hard and don’t have a limp, soggy hand either. If your hand is sweaty, pat it off on the side of your pants first before shaking. Give a genuine smile and look them in the eyes as you’re shaking hands and introduce yourself at the same time. Don’t use both hands unless it’s a personal meeting. Business handshakes are one handed only. You should also keep your left hand out of your pocket as you’re shaking hands or else it gives the perception that you’re hiding something. A firm handshake is a sign of confidence and a limp handshake is a sign of weakness.
  8. Be a role model. You may not notice it, but some young, impressionable boy or girl may be watching you and learning from you. Do you want to be a positive influence on someone? Your behavior is important.
  9. Be respectful to women. This includes your mother. Hold the door open for them when entering or exiting a room or building. Open the car door for your girlfriend or other women and close it after they are in. Pull the chair out for a lady when she sits down to eat. Help her on and off with her coat. When you’re walking with your girlfriend down a sidewalk, walk between her and the street. If you’re carrying a sidearm, she walks on your weak side so you can draw your pistol with your strong hand in the event of an emergency and protect her with the other hand.
  10. Use manners when you’re at the table eating. Take your hat off before you sit down and keep your elbows off the table. Chew with your mouth closed and don’t touch the food with your hands, use the utensils. No belching or other noises at the table, you’re not an animal.

There are many other rules that could have been included such as, don’t steal, obey your parents, be kind to animals, don’t tarnish your family name, volunteer in your community and protect the weak, but most of these are covered by the rules above. Learn these basics and the rest will fall into place naturally.

Sometimes it’s not the Coffee – Sometimes it’s the Experience

We were sitting around the table in the kitchen tent talking about where and how we would be hunting after breakfast while George, our outfitter for this hunt, was making coffee. We were in a large canvas hunting tent about 14 foot wide and about 20 foot long. It had a little wood stove in one corner for heat and a larger, wood cooking stove in the corner of the other end. A long table with lots of chairs around it gave all of the hunters and guides a place to eat and talk about hunting. There was still plenty of room in the tent for washing dishes. There was also plenty of room in the tent for the three camp dogs to lick pots and pans and to lie around soaking up the heat from the wood stoves. The dogs weren’t just there for companionship; they were also there to keep the grizzly bears away.

wyoming-2005-077

We were in Wyoming to hunt elk with our bows in some of the most beautiful and most remote country you could imagine. 15 miles from the road, this was our home for seven days. A long horseback ride in to our camp and several days of hunting in the Shoshone Wilderness Area was an incredible way to spend a week. The breathtaking views, comradery and the wild game viewing were just some of the things that made this an extraordinary hunting trip.

It was the morning of the first day’s hunt and we were all sitting around the table while George’s cook was whipping something up for breakfast and George was making coffee. He had an old, blue, enamel coffee pot sitting on the stove cooking water. This coffee pot must have been about three gallons! I don’t think I ever saw one this big before. I was standing with George discussing his coffee pot and his wood cook stove and wondering how he got this huge stove out into the wilderness. George was a big, ol’, 6’2’’ tall cowboy with a friendly demeanor who always seemed to have a smile on his face and kind word for everyone. I proceeded to watch George stand there with a two pound can of coffee under one arm, haphazardly tossing scoops of coffee into a three gallon pot of boiling water. I asked him how many scoops of coffee he put in that giant coffee pot. He said, “Well,  I just put a bunch in there until it looks right and it always seems to turn out good.”  Who was I to question George’s coffee making skills? He was previously an owner of a few restaurants.

cowboy coffee pot

A hearty breakfast of bacon and eggs all washed down with several cups of George’s coffee spiked with a generous helping of sugar really hit the spot. I was all ready to head out on horseback on my first day of hunting an elk with my bow. The excitement was really building to go out after an elk as I thought about George’s coffee. Wow, he really did know how to make great coffee. I headed out of camp on my horse with my first Wyoming elk camp breakfast under my belt ready to take on the day.

I arrived back home in the rolling hills of Pennsylvania after my hunt and couldn’t stop thinking about the great trip I was on. There were many great times shared with old friends and stories told with new friends. Special memories were made that will last a lifetime.  There was also that mystically delicious coffee experience. I couldn’t get the thought of George’s terrific coffee out of my mind.

I wanted to buy my own enamel coffee pot and make my own cowboy coffee.  As luck would have it, I received one as a Christmas gift. I set it up without the percolator and proceeded to toss scoops of coffee into the boiling water until I thought it looked good. When it was all finished, I poured myself a cup of that sweet, black brew. I blew off some of the steam and took a nice sip. Yuck! It was terrible! It didn’t taste at all like George’s coffee! Maybe George’s coffee wasn’t quite as good as I remembered it had been.

Sometimes it’s not the coffee. Sometimes it’s the experience.